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Review by: Andrew, 2008-03-12 12:00
People keep asking me if I really kicked Bruce Willis’s ass in the “Color Of Night”. Why in the world would I lie about being in a major motion picture suck fest? Yes. I kicked his ass. And while me and the Bruce-ster were filming the scene, I also kicked his toupee right off his head. Now we all know Mr. Willis is part of the bald boys club - but did you know that Mr. John “Pulp Fiction” Travolta is also folicly challenged? If you don’t believe me, just check out the toup he’s wearing in “Lonely Hearts”. It’s as bad as the movie is good.
Travolta, his bad hairpiece and the main boss guy from “the Sopranos” play cops trying to catch a couple of serial killers in this “based on a true story” movie. What takes this “based on a…” up a notch is the fact that it’s directed by the grandson of the actual detective that Travolta is playing. But the director doesn’t make his granddaddy into a saint – he makes sure he’s a real person who has to deal with the burden of looking at murdered people for a living.
So do yourself a favor and watch “Lonely Hearts”. Then watch “Wicker Man” (4 stars), “16 Blocks” (6 stars) and “Relative Strangers”(1 star). Then fire off an email to guywhokickedbrucewillissass@gmail.com and tell me which movie’s star has the best (meaning “worst”) toupee.
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