Download Movie: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford

Once upon a time in Hollywood, California… I used to act in a lot of crap ass movies. But along the way I actually managed to work with quite a few people who went on to be Academy Award winners. Like those total hack losers, Damon and Affleck. Or that squinty-eyed blonde who tries too hard to convince us that she’s being emotionally honest in every scene she’s in, Renee Zelweeger. And that over-pretentious, over-acting slab of ham, Philip Seymour Hoffman (even his name is over-acting).

I´m obviously making fun of these talented people because I´m a shallow bitter man who is incredibly jealous of what they´ve achieved. But none of these people´s work comes even close to Casey Affleck´s Academy Award nominated performance in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford". It would take a much smarter and definitely higher paid writer than me to explain why Affleck is so damn good, so I’ll just quote my Uncle Chuck when he would try to explain to me why Ford was a better truck than Chevy and why Coors was a better beer than Budweiser. He would simply say, "Some things just is, Andrew. Some things just is."

Do yourself a gigantic favor and watch "The Assassination". Then watch "Run Baby Run" (3 stars). Then fire off an email to "guywhokickedbrucewillissass@gmail.com" and tell me how in the world Casey Affleck lost the Academy Award to Javiar "I’m wearing a weird wig" Bardem?

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