2008-02-29 12:00  

Which of these 2 flicks sounds like it’s more likely to make you laugh?
"My Boyfriend’s Back" - A hopelessly romantic boy returns from the dead as a Zombie just so he can go to the high school dance with the girl of his dreams.
OR
"The Hunting Party" - A discredited war journalist tries to redeem his career by hunting down a big time Bosnian war criminal responsible for ethnic cleansing.

If you said the first movie, you´d be correct. It definitely sounds funnier – especially since it doesn´t mention "Bosnia" and "ethnic cleansing". So how come "The Hunting Party" is much funnier? Maybe because it stars the unbelievably talented Richard Gere and the Zombie flick stars the unbelievably untalented me.

"Party" is written and directed by the same dude who did "The Matador" (which was loved by everyone but me) but this is a much more accomplished film. It actually can make you laugh one minute, feel something the next and still put you on the edge of your seat as Gere gets closer and closer to finding the deadliest man in Bosnia.

Do yourself a favor and watch "Party". Then throw on "The Hoax" and watch Gere totally kick ass (I´m telling you – this guy is becoming one of America´s greatest all time actors). Then rent "My Boyfriend’s Back" so I can make some money.

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3 Votes

2008-10-30 12:23  

Once upon a time in lovely Hollywood, California....

I came very very close to playing the boyfriend of that chick who plays "Bridget Jones" in that movie where her mom has cancer and kills herself. Which is exactly what I felt like doing when I found out I didn’t score the part. I asked my agent who did and she said “Nicky Katt”. “Nicky Katt?” I asked. “Who the hell is ...
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2008-09-10 19:29  

“Get Smart’s Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control”

Once upon a time in Burbank, California….

I played a lawyer on a mediocre situation comedy called “This Show Sucks.” Ok. That wasn’t really the name of the show. It was actually called “This Show Blows”. Ok. Ok. That wasn’t the name of the show either. But it should have been. Which was too bad. The series actually had some ...
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2008-09-03 15:11  

Once upon a time in Nice, France…

I convinced some Hollywood types to pay me to write a real piece of crap movie. It starred a basketball player who was famous for dating Madonna and a stand up comic who was famous for imitating dinosaur behavior. Produced by an ex-Israeli tank commander, directed by a man obsessed with Russian hookers and written by people who had absolutely no idea what ...
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2008-09-03 15:10  

Once upon a time in Nice, France…

I convinced some Hollywood types to pay me to write a real piece of crap movie. It starred a basketball player who was famous for dating Madonna and a stand up comic who was famous for imitating dinosaur behavior. Produced by an ex-Israeli tank commander, directed by a man obsessed with Russian hookers and written by people who had absolutely no idea what ...
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2008-08-27 12:41  

Once upon a time in lovely Los Angeles, California…

My lifestyle as a struggling “actor/writer/bachelor” allowed me to watch 2 to 3 movies a day (that’s somewhere in the region of 17 movies a week). Because of this, friends and family would call for my advice on which movie was worth their time and money. Ironically, the more they asked for my advice, the less time I had to watch ...
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2008-08-27 12:41  

Once upon a time in lovely Los Angeles, California…

My lifestyle as a struggling “actor/writer/bachelor” allowed me to watch 2 to 3 movies a day (that’s somewhere in the region of 17 movies a week). Because of this, friends and family would call for my advice on which movie was worth their time and money. Ironically, the more they asked for my advice, the less time I had to watch ...
Read all

2008-08-27 12:38  

Once upon a time in lovely Los Angeles, California…

My lifestyle as a struggling “actor/writer/bachelor” allowed me to watch 2 to 3 movies a day (that’s somewhere in the region of 17 movies a week). Because of this, friends and family would call for my advice on which movie was worth their time and money. Ironically, the more they asked for my advice, the less time I had to watch ...
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2008-08-20 12:06  

Once upon a time in Austin, Texas…

I was in a movie with Mathew Fox, Renee Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey and Philip Seymour Hoffman. All of them have become incredibly rich and famous. Two of them have even gone on to win Academy Awards.

Naturally I am incredibly jealous of all their trophies and cash. But there was another talented man that worked on that movie that I am way more ...
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2008-08-20 12:04  

Once upon a time in Austin, Texas…

I was in a movie with Mathew Fox, Renee Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey and Philip Seymour Hoffman. All of them have become incredibly rich and famous. Two of them have even gone on to win Academy Awards.

Naturally I am incredibly jealous of all their trophies and cash. But there was another talented man that worked on that movie that I am way more ...
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2008-08-13 12:17  

Once upon a time in Toronto, Canada..

A script I co-wrote was made into an actual movie. Too bad that movie totally sucked. Except for the scene I was in. Seriously. Ask my parents.

The same guy who produced that movie and won an Academy Award for producing a short movie called "Ryan" (an animated documentary about some fucked up drunk Canadian animator) and produced the god ...
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2008-04-23 12:00  

Once upon a time at the Paramount Studios in lovely Hollywood, California…I was so nervous before a big audition I actually barfed in the parking lot. Not to brag, but it wasn´t my style to go around vomiting in parking lots just because I was nervous about an audition. So what made this one so special? It was for an incredibly talented director (Neil Jordan) who made movies that relied heavily ...
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2008-04-16 12:00  

Once upon a time in Nice, France…I helped write a terrible action movie that starred an ex-basketball player. He was as bad at acting as he was as good at hoops. His acting coach actually told us with great pride that he had recently taught the star how to walk and talk at the same time – but he couldn´t actually walk and talk and "act" at the same time. He assured us he would have ...
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2008-04-10 12:00  

Once upon a time in Hollywood, California… I used to act in a lot of crap ass movies. But along the way I actually managed to work with quite a few people who went on to be Academy Award winners. Like those total hack losers, Damon and Affleck. Or that squinty-eyed blonde who tries too hard to convince us that she’s being emotionally honest in every scene she’s in, Renee Zelweeger. And that ...
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2008-04-03 12:00  

Once upon a time in Hollywood, California - I was the only white actor on a black sit-com called "A Different World".
And the only thing more lame than my lame attempts at acting were my incredibly lame (and possibly racist) attempts at fitting in with the all black cast by talking about how I thought Halle Berry was smokin’ hot and rapping lines from "Niggaz 4 Life".
The ...
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2008-04-02 12:00  

This is the quote at the beginning of the “The Butterfly Effect” - “It has been said something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.”

Very interesting thought. So interesting it got me to thinkin’ - why does something as big as “The Butterfly Effect” ultimately cause me to fall asleep halfway through watching ...
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2008-03-20 12:00  

A long time ago I was in a flaming turd of a movie that starred the guy from "The Blue Lagoon". We filmed this little gem on a soundstage next to the soundstage where Jack "U can’t handle the truth!" Nicholson was directing the sequel to one of the greatest films in history - “Chinatown”. One day, when I was waiting to film my oh so original line "Operator! Get me ...
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2008-03-12 12:00  

People keep asking me if I really kicked Bruce Willis’s ass in the “Color Of Night”. Why in the world would I lie about being in a major motion picture suck fest? Yes. I kicked his ass. And while me and the Bruce-ster were filming the scene, I also kicked his toupee right off his head. Now we all know Mr. Willis is part of the bald boys club - but did you know that Mr. John “Pulp ...
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2008-02-29 12:00  

Once upon a time in Hollywood, California…
I kicked Bruce Willis's ass. It was in a movie called "Color Of Night".
That movie sucked.
"1408" doesn't. Far from it. It's co-written by the guys who created "The Matrix", adapted from a story that was written by the guy who wrote" The Shining" and directed by some Swedish dude who had a movie nominated for ...
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